Today is Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day! 🏳️🌈🥳🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉💖🍸🍸🍾🍻☕☕🍰🍰🍫🍫🥧🥧
So I thought it was a good idea if I invited someone who is pansexual as a guest blog writer here to pop in and write a post from a personal point of view, since I'm a lesbian, not a pansexual. Luckily, I don't have to look far, because my mother, Jana Kaucky, is pansexual and panromantic, so I'm handing over to her.
🏳️🌈
Thank you, Liba for inviting me to write about pansexuality from the point of view of a pansexual. And in doing so, making me 'visible'. Although I did mention, on my own blog, that I was a pansexual, it was only a passing comment.
I've left the technical side to Liba to explain in another post, because she's clued up on LGBTQIAPD2S terminology and issues, whereas I'm not. However, I am learning more and more from her about gender and sexuality as time goes on which is an eye-opener and a feeling of freedom. In my day, there was a veil of silence over everything that wasn't binary and heterosexual, therefore, one didn't know that there were other ways of being, loving and living one's life. So, I find it disturbing that there is so much negativity and hatred surrounding discussion of and visibility of people within the LGBTQIAPD2S community at the same time. We've only just arrived at a stage where there's more information available and so more understanding possible. This is not the time to allow those with bigoted ideas about gender and sexuality to, once again, start restricting those they are prejudiced against for whatever reason, usually, ironically, religious ones. This is something I feel very strongly about because it affected my life, detrimentally because if only one way of living is peddled then you are shoehorned into that one way which may not suit you. In my case, it didn't. This meant that I followed the so-called traditional path of marrying a man and having a child. To paraphrase Paul O' Grady, I was lucky to come out alive. Do I regret having a daughter? Absolutely not. I can honestly say, hand on heart, ❤ she's the best thing to ever happen to me. Do I regret marrying? Absolutely!
I am attracted to people, fellow human beings, regardless of gender. This is the definition of a pansexual. The far-right fight against this because it reveals that there are more than two genders. However, if you think there are only two genders then science isn't your 💪 strength! Being pan is not the same as being bi. The latter is someone who falls in love with women and men only but, unlike a pan, is unlikely to fall in love with an intersex person, a transindividual, an androgynous woman/man, a 2S person or anyone else who doesn't fit the biological binary. If you are attracted to more than one gender, but not all, then you are polysexual or polyromantic, I think.
However, even as a cis woman who is panromantic/pansexual, ie I am into the romantic ❤side of a relationship (dating, romantic dinners, deeper, very close relationship etc) as well as the sexual, it's not an either/or for me. Apparently, you can be only panromantic which means you enjoy the dating and relationship side of being with someone but not necessarily want sex with them. Nonetheless, given all this, I find I have always been, and still am, more romantically and sexually attracted to women which means all those who identify as such. This has made me wonder:
Is there such a thing as a lesbian pansexual? Or maybe a pansexual with a strong preference for those who fall into the category of woman, and I use the term broadly.
It's not that I'm never attracted to men but it's extremely rare and even then I'm only attracted to those men who are, to use a term I don't like, effeminate. In other words, men in whom so-called female characteristics predominate e.g. romantic, gentle, caring, less binary in their appearance, manner, the clothes they wear and so on.
Why is all this important? Because it's very much part and parcel to understanding who you are. Until you understand yourself you can't make the right life changing decisions we all have to make. Otherwise, you can be confused as to who you are simply because you seem to view things differently from those you meet. But once you have the vocabulary and knowledge you can then relax and feel confident in yourself and your sexuality.❤ It's only then you are able to love yourself. That's the empowering thing.
Sex is an important part of life and part of well-being which is why society should refrain from interfering with people's sex life. It's a private activity which should stay private!
Without knowledge of who you are you make wrong decisions which are costly in more than just a financial sense, although that too! You can also be more unhappy which impacts on your general health. For instance, you may feel more tired than you should which then has a serious knock-on effect on how you handle issues that crop up. Society functions better when it includes everyone, and is concerned that everyone is happy, not in a giddy way, but in a contented way.
© Jana Kaucky 24th May 2022 All Rights Reserved
Comments
Post a Comment